How We Handle Money

8 Nov

I started Mommy and Money in 2007 as a personal finance blog. Along the way it had become more of a mommy blog than a money blog.  Then in 2009, I just deleted the website because I wasn’t really updating it anymore. But then earlier this year I realized I really need a mommy blog because that’s who I am – I am a mommy- and so I put this site back up. This week I have decided to bring back the ‘money’ aspect of the blog.


Money Talk

Over dinner last week, a friend asked me who pays for what in our home, and how Jay and I came up with the arrangement. I couldn’t answer the question because it wasn’t like Jay and I actually sat down to discuss our expenses. Many financial advisers tell couples to sit down and discuss money early on in the marriage. We’ve never really had to.

We go by this simple guideline: whoever has money, pays.

I guess it’s easy for us because it’s not like we’re swimming in money or that there is a great lack of it. We have enough. And after getting buried in credit card debt years ago, we’ve actually learned to live within our means.

Right now Jay takes care of most of our household expenses. That’s because he earns more than I do. When I need money and I don’t have any, I can even ask him for some. And he gives me money (I know there are people who feel bad about giving their partners money). If there will ever come a time I would need to step up and find a job outside the home to take care of this family, I will just have to do it. It’s really simple- we take care of each other.

I am proud to say that in the almost 15 years that Jay and I have been together, we have NEVER had a fight about money. Ever.

I think the reason we don’t fight about money is that we don’t have ridiculous views about it. We don’t feel like we have to hold on to money too tightly or that we have to spend it like there’s tomorrow. We certainly don’t have opposing views about money. We’re totally on the same page when it comes to money and all the other major stuff that affect the lives of couples. We spend money on things we need. We, uhm, self-regulate when it comes to expenses for stuff we only want.  I trust he won’t blow his income on some ridiculous toy or stuff we don’t need. He trusts I won’t spend our money on shopping sprees we can’t afford. We don’t buy a lot of clothes or shoes. We enjoy thrifting though.

Majority of our money go to Nicole’s expenses. If it’s for Nicole’s sake and if we have money for it, then we don’t need to have a lengthy discussion about it. Do we have money to send her to a private school? OK, then she goes to private school. Can we afford ballet classes for her? Yes. OK, she has to do ballet. Last summer they had a recital and because we had no money to pay for the recital, we didn’t even have to agonize over the decision- she just had to skip it.

Maybe little by little I’ll discuss money matters on this blog just to show how we’ve managed to NOT fight about money all these years.

There is this situation that’s coming up in a few months, and it will be a very good test regarding our feelings about money, but because my husband does not feel comfortable discussing it, I’m shutting my pie hole. I will probably discuss it when it’s all over so we can see what lessons we’ve learned.


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