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Rite

6 Oct

My baby’s excited to get her ears pierced today. Which is how things should have been in the first place. Now she is 7. Now she wants it. Now she’s willing to go through the pain to have it.

I was pissed (she was too) when we had her ears pierced when she was a teeny baby because I did it just to shut people up. I was a new mom and didn’t handle the pressure of people telling me what to do with my baby well. You won’t believe how much her unpierced ears bothered people. It was ridiculous. People would go on and on about how she looked like a boy because she was bald and didn’t have earrings.

I used to think, “Wow, haven’t these people seen My Girl?”

When we took her to the doctor to get her ears pierced the first time, and she wailed at the doctor’s clinic, I felt I had betrayed her so I could make people lay off me.

Yes, I like to overthink things. LOL.

No, but seriously, now the act of getting her ears pierced becomes a meaningful act even though her reason for wanting it is totally superficial (she wants to wear glittery things on her ears).

Time Flies

1 Mar

There are moments when  life is so perfect and I’m so happy with Nicole I try to take a mental picture and I pray, “Dear God, don’t let me forget this moment. Don’t let me forget the expression on Nicole’s face, or how I feel right now.”

All mothers who are in love with their children often say time passes by too quickly. You want to be able to freeze time but you also don’t want to; because this little person you are so in love with gets even prettier, smarter, and just overall better with the passing of time.

Nicole tells me she will live with me forever; that she will travel with me when she’s an adult. She even tells me she’ll go home to me even when she’s already in college. And yet, looking at how her personality has grown in just a year, how she insists her dad and I can go off and leave her alone in the house (she’s only 6 so we don’t), and how she spends her free days at her friend’s house, I just know she’ll go off and have many adventures on her own without me. It’s all bittersweet. I’d be afraid if she decided to live with me forever. LOL. And yet it’s also sad to think about the day she’ll finally be off on her own.

Today I sent Nicole to school with a folder containing her baby pictures. They’re having their pictures taken for their prep graduation and they’re going to use the baby photos for their graduation slideshow (or yearbook, I’m not sure). So last night, I went through CDs and hard drives to look for her baby pics (our photo archive’s a crazy mess). I showed Nic her baby pictures and she giggled at all her naked photos. She also told me not to submit the photo below to her school because she didn’t have teeth in it.

My 6-year-old sweetie, embarrassed about her toothless grin that I loved. It’s all bittersweet I tell you.

Summer is Over

9 Jun

That went by pretty quick! The year’s just whizzing by.  I can’t believe half the year is already over.

Like I said in my previous post, my husband lost his job in March this year. So we’ve all been chilling at home. My daughter got to go on 3 swim trips, and we just spent Mother’s Day at the New World Hotel. I think our summer was a success even if we didn’t do go on any out-of-town trips.

The biggest surprise of the summer is how quickly my daughter made friends with our neighbor’s daughter, Alexa. They interacted at the school van the last day of school when everyone at their school was sent home at noon, and the driver took them home the same time. They spent all summer together.

Alexa also invited Nicole to join her at this year’s Jollibee Kids Scout program. That’s the second nicest surprise this summer. I didn’t think Nicole would have as much fun as she did (and for just P500!). She remembers all the lessons her Jollibee kuyas and ates taught her. Nicole was given her own Jollibee shirt and cap; and all the snacks for the 5-day program were already included in the P500 fee.

I know I should have posted this a bit earlier in the summer so other parents would have had the opportunity to enroll their kids in the program, but I really have a major blogging backlog, and am only trying to catch up now. Hey, there’s always next year! 🙂

Jollibee Kids Scout Art Class (Day 3)

Changes

23 May

A few months ago, I hinted that things were going to change for our family this year. In October last year, my husband’s company informed his team that their division would be dissolved and support services for their product would be transferred to India. The company gave them 6 months to prepare for this change. Jay spent his last day at work last Feb. 28.

While I had a slight fear things might get a little difficult for us emotionally and financially, things are not bad at all. Except for the days Jay gets restless at home, we actually have great days.  Financially, things are not difficult because Jay received a good amount of money from his old company. Not a huge amount, but certainly enough for us to get by.

First thing we did was pay off some left-over debt. (One of these days I will blog how important it is to pay debt). Now, we just do as much freelance work as we can, so that we have money coming in to take care of our expenses.

Life is good. Everyday I thank God for the life I have. Everyday we wake up and we’re all together. To me that is all that matters.

And This is Why I Send Nicole to Her School

24 Feb

Nicole does not know how to read yet. Which is fine. We’re not in a hurry (plus this topic requires a separate blog post altogether).

But I love her school because I really think they’re helping me mold Nicole to be the kind of person I want her to be. You know, the kind of person who even if she weren’t my daughter, I would like.

The other day she went home with a Get Well Soon card from her entire class.

Of course I cried! I cry about everything.

Get Well Soon Card from The Kinder Bubuyog Class

The kids in her class said they will give me hearts and flowers so I would get better soon. One kid said he’ll give me a pillow! ❤

Reading, Writing, Math are things you can continue to learn and get better at through the years. Compassion, self-awareness, love for the environment and the other good traits they teach Nicole at her school, are stuff I believe are important for kids to learn VERY EARLY in life.

 

I Didn’t Feel Anything

22 Feb

If you follow my online journal, then you’re already aware that I had surgery last Friday.

Doctors removed my uterus, my cervix and one of my ovaries. I had intramural myoma, cysts on my cervix and cysts on my ovary (one, or a few of the cysts, or my ovary (I’m not sure. haha) had already burst).

Ever since I started telling people about my condition, I’ve been asked many times about the symptoms or how I realized I was sick. I didn’t realize I was sick until I knew I was.  :))

I never experienced any pain before my surgery.  There were no pains during sexual intercourse. I had my period monthly. I have never experienced menstrual cramps.

When I was still running, my period came the same day every month. When I stopped running, that’s when my period started to become unusually heavy. I didn’t think anything bad of it (I figured the change in my physical activity affected my period). When I had my period too early in December, I attributed it to stress. Then came January. I had my period; I think that was on January 4. My period ended January 9. Two weeks later, I was experiencing bleeding again. I got confused. Didn’t I just have my period a week and a half or two weeks ago? So I decided since I had a long overdue check-up with my internist Dr. Jacob Singh so he could declare me free of Pott’s disease , that I was going to go and visit an OB-Gyne that same week too. Actually, Jay kind of forced me to go to my check-ups. If it were up to me, I would probably have never gone at all. I would have thought about going, yes, but would have never gone.

I went to Tagaytay Hospital and had my final check-up with Dr. Singh. I was finally free of Pott’s disease, an illness I had to drink meds 1 whole year for.

That same day, I signed up to have my check-up with an OB-Gyne who took one century to arrive. I cancelled my appointment with her and asked to be transfered to another OB-Gyne. The other OB-Gyne, Dr. Angelica Malambut had a crazy long line of patients. Jay and I had been waiting more than 2 hours for the other doctor. I wanted to go home. I was trying to assure Jay I would come back another day. He knows me too well. He told me we’re not going home until I was done with the check-up. So we waited for my turn with Dr. Malambut. We were in the hospital since 1:30 PM (had my quick check-up with Dr. Singh). By the time we were done with Dr. Malambut, it was already 6:30PM! This is why I don’t like visiting doctors.

So when I went inside the doctor’s office she asked me why I was there. So I told her I had my period twice that month. I told her I wasn’t feeling anything unusual. She explained to me that changes in the period can be attributed to stress. She asked me if I’ve always been physically heavy. She also explained that sudden changes in weight or diet can lead to changes in the period too. Then she asked me if I’ve had my HPV vaccination. I said no. She asked me why. I don’t know why. 😛

She said since I had my child at 27, I wasn’t exactly high risk. That’s cause she assumed Jay and I had never had sex until we decided to have a baby 😛 So I had to explain the whole situation, how Jay and I have been together 15 years and how we’ve had physical contact way before I was 26. So she told me I was definitely high risk.

So that’s lesson #1: Get your HPV vaccination. Just to be sure.

The doctor checked my cervix. She said I had cysts. She asked me if I go for annual pap smears. Uhm, this is embarassing but I have never had pap smear in my entire life. By this part of the check-up, I was receiving a very friendly “sermon” from Dr. Malambut.

Lesson #2: Go for your annual pap smear.

Dr. Malambut then touched my pelvic area and said there was definitely something growing inside my uterus. She requested for transvaginal ultrasound. I had my transvaginal ultrasound 2 days later. That’s how we discovered the myoma and the cysts in my ovary. The myoma was already 7cmx 6.8cm. The biggest cyst on my cervix was already 3cm.

When I went for my last check-up before the surgery, Dr. Malambut said she’ll try to do her best to save my uterus. By the looks of the ultrasound, there was no saving it, but she said I was too young to lose my uterus. During surgery she found the condition to be worse than how it looked in the ultrasound so she decided to remove everything. She left only my good ovary. I don’t have to go for pap smears anymore. But I will have to go for annual ultrasounds to check my good ovary.

Lesson #3. Go for annual OB check-ups. It doesn’t matter if you feel anything. Just go.

I have to keep a good watch on my good ovary because it’s the only thing that’s saving me from needing hormone replacement therapy.

I will go for my follow-up check-up next week. I’ll find out the result of the biopsy then.

Right now I’m just home resting and blogging. 🙂

We Can’t Go Back to That Life

18 Jan

There was about a year when Nicole was a baby that I worked full time in Manila during the day, and Jay worked full time (also in Manila) at night.  We didn’t have meals together as a family because by the time Nicole would wake up, I had to be on my way to Manila. When I would get home, Jay has either left for work or only had 15 minutes to spare. Weekday romps (if we could manage any) were always quickies. We communicated through text messages. Nicole spent most of her time with my parents. We weren’t living life as a “family” (at least not in the way I think families should live).

Then in 2006, I left my last corporate job. I have spent most of my time home since then.

Last December, I considered going back to corporate work because we’re about to face financial changes in March this year.

But I realized last night how we can’t go back to that kind of life.

Yesterday, I spent 8 hours in Manila (some 42 km away from my home) for some training. I spent 4 hours total in a bus. I had to leave for Manila soon after Nicole left for school. I communicated with Jay through text the whole day. When I got home, I picked up Nic from my mom’s place. Jay was already in Manila.

Me (to Nicole): I missed you so much today.

Nicole: What about papa, he missed two of us.